Funny Marijuana Quotes and the Politicians Who Said Them

barack obama smiling
Editorial credit: Evan El-Amin / Shutterstock.com

Politicians say the darnedest things, especially when it comes to cannabis. From senators to presidents, our government officials have racked up some pretty hilarious weed comments from both sides of the political spectrum. And since we live in the glorious age of the internet, you don't have to sit through each and every political speech to get to the funniest cannabis-quote highlights. It doesn't matter if you're a casual news watcher or an aficionado of politics, so long as you love weed you're bound to appreciate these funny marijuana quotes politicians actually said.

So, get ready to laugh, cry, and feel inspired by the comments made by America's political leaders. All you need to do is grind down your favorite strain, roll yourself a joint (or pack a bowl), and get baked enough to truly enjoy just how ridiculous these funny weed quotes from politicians are. Who knew politics could be such a hoot?

Arnold Schwarzenegger

arnold schwarzenegger
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Whether you love or hate him, you have to admit that Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the coolest politicians out there. This Austrian-American served as the 38th Governor of California — he's also an actor, author, and former professional bodybuilder. With a resume like that, you certainly don't have to stay quiet when it comes to your stance on weed, and Schwarzenegger gave his two cents on the matter in an interview with GQ magazine in 2007. "That is not a drug. It's a leaf," he said in a concise but comical retort to the interviewer asking questions about his pre-workout drug habits. In a separate interview, he also said, "I smoke the marijuana — I always inhale," which is something I'm sure many (if not most) Americans can relate to. So, let's thank Arnold for his best contribution yet: Terminator and some funny marijuana quotes!

Barack Obama

Unless you've been high since Woodstock '69, you probably remember Barack Obama. Best-known as the 44th President of the United States, a Democrat, and an all-around chill dude, Obama voiced his history with weed back in 2006. In homage to Bill Clinton's famous inhaling remark, Obama said, "Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point." That definitely was, and remains to this day, the point of smoking weed — thanks, Obama!

This quote may just be the reason behind the creation of Obama Kush, an indica-dominant strain obviously named for the man who inhaled. Frequently. It seems that marijuana in the Obama household isn't a taboo, especially since our 44th President's own daughter, Malia Obama, got caught allegedly smoking weed in 2017. Guess she inhaled too.

Bill Clinton

Speaking of Bill Clinton's famous inhaling remark, this list of funny marijuana quotes by politicians wouldn't be complete without mentioning this guy. Not to be confused with his wife, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton served as the 42nd President of the United States in the '90s and was impeached for his sexual transgressions with a Miss. Monica Lewinski. In 1992, Clinton made his personal history with cannabis very clear when he said, "When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it and didn't inhale and never tried it again."

You could spend hours breaking down why Clinton's statement makes little sense (if not absolutely no sense at all). My primary question is this: how do you know you didn't like it if you didn't inhale? Did he just not like the taste? Perhaps President Clinton needs to try some delicious edibles instead so he can learn to like it!

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Harry Anslinger

Don't feel bad if Harry Anslinger isn't the first guy that pops into your mind when you think of famous politicians. Considering he was born in 1892 and died back in 1975, Anslinger was certainly of a different era. But that doesn't mean his opinion on weed hasn't survived the ages long enough to make it into a blog post about funny political quotes concerning cannabis!

This Republican had some very strong words when it came to weed: "No one knows, when he places a marijuana cigarette to his lips, whether he will become a joyous reveler in musical heaven, a mad insensate, a calm philosopher, or a murderer."

Unless the pot back then was very different from what dispensaries sell today, it's pretty safe to say that Anslinger has absolutely no idea what he was talking about. But if anyone does happen to find a strain that can take you from being 'a joyous reveler in musical heaven' to 'murderer' as fast as this guy, then I'd love to hear about it.

Jeff Sessions

Former Republican Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, has perhaps the most hilarious marijuana quote of any politician. In 2016 he said, with a straight face, that "Good people don't smoke marijuana." Perhaps he didn't realize just how many people have smoked weed (or he didn't care). Either way, this quote disses at least two former presidents, some politicians, many celebrities, and a bunch of voters.

If only morality was as easy to determine as Sessions seems to think it is. After all, 'bad people smoke weed and good people don't' is a bit reductionist as far as nuanced situations go. Who knows, maybe Sessions has information we don't. But if he's going to claim that Bob Dylan, The Beatles, and Patrick (Jean-Luc Picard) Stewart aren't good people because they've smoked weed, then he's going to need to back it up with a little bit of research first. And as a fun fact, Bill Nye the Science Guy disagrees directly with Sessions' quote.

Ronald Reagan

ronald reagan waving
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What is there to say about Ronald Reagan's views on weed that haven't already been said? This is the man known as being responsible for the American War on Drugs, AKA the 40th President of the United States of America. In all honesty, he has so many funny marijuana quotes to his name, it's hard to choose just one! But maybe (just maybe) this one takes the cake: "...marijuana, pot, grass – whatever you want to call it – is probably the most dangerous drug in the United States and we haven't begun to find out all of the ill-effects. But they are permanent ill-effects!"

In the grand scheme of things, 1980 (the year Reagan said this) wasn't all that long ago. Just remembering that the first Woodstock happened in 1969 helps to put things into perspective. Somehow, between the era of free love and the invention of the Rubik's Cube, weed became evil and the reefer madness mindset set in. This quote would be even more funny, if only it were less sad.

Whatever funny things politicians say about marijuana, it's good to know we're moving past all the drama and into dispensaries instead!

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