Cold Cereal
Planning to wake and bake? Then dive into a bowl of Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If the bowl of Sour Diesel you just smoked doesn’t get you up and ready to take on the day, than a bowl of sugar and milk should do the trick.
But refrain from chowing down on some Cap’n Crunch; or, at least wait until you’ve got all your wits about you to dish some up. Those tiny rectangles of death will cut your mouth to shreds even when you’re sober. Proceed with caution.
Pop Tarts
If you want to get fancy with your breakfast options, grab a box of Pop Tarts. Toss your Tarts into the toaster for a gooey yet crispy treat, or simply eat them right out of the silver wrapper.
But say goodbye to the internal struggle of deciding whether to heat your pastries or eat them raw. The best part about Pop Tarts? They come in a two-pack. Have one of each!
Funyuns
Because when else can you, in good conscience, eat Funyuns except when you’re high? Nobody can deny the oniony deliciousness of these corn chips; but, no one wants to admit they’re the first thing you crave following a smoke session.
A word to the wise: since you’re probably already dealing with some intense cotton mouth, make sure you’ve got some Gatorade to accompany these salty rings.
Street Tacos
Many stoners turn to street tacos as a matter of convenience. As a responsible stoner, you won’t hop behind the wheel or mess with the oven whilst high. Yet, you’re starving and your cupboards are bare. So, where do you go for safe, instant results?
Break from couch-lock long enough to walk down the street, and you’ll quickly run into a taco stand or cart. They’re popping up on nearly every street corner. And never mind the cart’s sketchy sanitary conditions. Chalk it up to added flavor and authenticity.
Anything from Jack in the Box
If you’ve got a loyal, sober friend who’s willing to drive your blazed butt to get some food, head over to Jack in the Box immediately. Let’s be honest: Jack in the Box caters to stoners. Where else can you go to get bacon cheddar potato wedges, egg rolls, and spicy Sriracha burgers at 3am?
The company even offers late night Munchie Meals, “for when it’s so late it might be early.” Inside one of these bad boys you’ll find a sourdough grilled cheese nestled atop a cheeseburger, two tacos, a half-cut box of curly fries and regular fries, and a fountain drink to wash it all down. Order an additional Oreo cookie milkshake and you’ve got all your munchie bases covered.